I'm Gonna Make It Right

So, as I've previously stated, I've been trying to make an effort to repair some of the broken relationships in my life. I find that I've been spending more and more time with my dad recently, something that is definitely rare for us, but it's already working wonders in our relationship. As far as my mother is concerned, I haven't spoken to her in over a year and  haven't seen her in person for almost four years. My mother and I are total opposites, and the fact that we are so different is what really drove a wedge in between us. But something happened to my wife last night that made me reevaluate what had happened between my mother and I, and why I now see that I was wrong for shutting her out of my life.

Without going into too much detail on what happened, I'll simply say that my wife is the most caring, loving and nourturing person I have EVER known, and that's not just something I say because she's  my wife. She is always willing to help people, in particular, her younger siblings (she's the oldest) who have made quite the mess of their own lives. Even when they take her for granted, use her, and walk all over her, she is willing to help them in any way they need, sometimes when we can't even afford to. That's just who she is.

When I stopped and reminded last night of just how big her heart is, I started to think about how things went down between my mother and I. Once I did, I felt like crap. A real low-life. Then I thought about what the Bible says about honoring your mother and father, and I felt like crawling inside of my own skin and hiding. Here I am, trying my best to glorify God with my actions and the way I live my life, but all along I've been disobeying one of the most basic principles. It's one of the Ten Commandments, for crying out loud!! I'm supposed to be honoring my mother, no matter what, and instead, I've been ignoring her, shutting her out of my life completely for nothing other than convenience (another truth I came to terms with last night). It wasn't the way to make my life better, it was, however, a great way to wither my heart against this woman, who brought me into the world.

The thought of it made me ill. I vowed right then and there to do what I could to repair my relationship with my mother, and to make an honest attempt to embrace her, instead of ignoring her. Hopefully, my mother and I can soon begin to build a bond again. It's the right thing to do. It's what I WANT to do.